12 Oct 2021 14:15:21
Heartbreaking to see the struggles Paul Merson experiences every day. We are truly blessed if we don't have addictive personalities.

1.) 12 Oct 2021
12 Oct 2021 17:31:40
It really is sad Sally, unfortunately I don't know anyone who doesn't suffer from some kind of addiction in one way or another.
Drinking Drugs and Gambling are extremely horrible struggles that come to mind when we think of addictions, but eating addictions, eating disorders, smoking, overthinking, paranoia, fear, worry guilt, anxiety, depression, superstition, greed power, narcissism, shoplifting to name but a few can all become a very serious problem for those unfortunate enough to suffer from them and of course their families and wider society, all kinds of addictions can absolutely take over people's minds and life's sadly.

The sadest thing of all is we spend am absolutely fortune on dealing with the consequences of these things or trying to help people get better once they are in the grip of these sicknesses but absolutely nothing on stopping it all happening in the first place.

We teach kids how to look after thier physical health but totally ignore the key to all good health, which of course is the mind.

2.) 12 Oct 2021
12 Oct 2021 19:41:05
There is a world of difference between those who are as you describe above Gunner 62 and an addict.

Addicts have their lives taken over by their addiction.
We wake up and the first thought of the day is how we are going to get our fix. We (usually) then experience paranoia about what our addictions lead us to do yesterday, what lies we have told in an endeavour to cover up our behaviour, what havoc we have wreaked on those we love, no matter how irrational and unbelievable.
It’s a crippling, progressive sickness where our addictive personalities gradually - and sometimes frighteningly quickly - need more of what we crave to get the same fix. In my case, alcohol. My addiction lead to me do all the things I never, ever, thought I do: secret drinking, drinking in the morning; drink driving; drinking on my own; hiding drink around the house; drinking absolutely anything, no matter how vile (dry Sherry anyone? ) so long as it was alcoholic, necking spirits from bottles and refilling them with water; stealing, lying, cheating.

Addiction isn’t just liking or disliking something quite a lot. It is usually characterised by deep seated fear, denial, a need to change the way we feel.

It’s a recognised sickness by the World Health Organisation. It doesn’t mean the addict is not responsible for all their bad behaviour or is deserving of absolution with making amends, but it is a horrible, all consuming killer.

I am lucky: I am a recovering alcoholic and I have to work at this every day, without fail. I seek no sympathy nor anything really.
It’s so hard to understand for the non-addict.
I don’t understand how alcohol came to rule and ruin my life, but I am an addict. If I can’t understand it, then **** knows how addicts should expect non-addicts to understand them.

3.) 12 Oct 2021
12 Oct 2021 20:53:57
I'm not sure if it helps Max but Paul has realised he is not a bad person constantly trying to be a good person but someone with an sickness. It seemed to strick a cord with him when he accepted this.
Wishing you all the best with your recovery :)

4.) 12 Oct 2021
12 Oct 2021 22:44:54
Thank you Salkyjanine. I have never been happier! I am über-lucky?.

{Ed007's Note - God bless, Max. #ODAAT I'm also a recovering alcholic - 9 years - and know that must have been tough for you to write that. It sounds like you have got good support around you but if you're ever struggling I'm only a post away and I'll get in touch with you privately.
And for anyone that's struggling with addictions or their mental health, honestly THE best thing you can do - and it's the hardest thing as well btw - is reach out to speak to someone and admit you need help.}

5.) 13 Oct 2021
12 Oct 2021 22:58:05
Hi Max I have no wish to diminish yours or anyone else's personal struggles in anyway mate as only those who've actually walked any particular mile can truly understand anything, while all others can only ever sympathise.

But try telling someone with ocd addiction to perform compulsive rituals before leaving the house in order to prevent bad things happening that day who have to hide thier behaviour from those they live with, or someone who self harms as the only to release their pain and are unable to wear shorts of short sleeved shirts for fear of thier behaviour being exposed to those they know that there particular struggle isn't an addiction, anything you cannot stop or control is by definition an addiction.

Whether the addictions involve taking a substance such as drugs alcohol smoking or are addictive on a psychological basis the struggle is every bit as huge for those who are struggling with that particular issue.

6.) 13 Oct 2021
13 Oct 2021 06:38:23
Hi Guys, Sallyjannie, G62, Ed007.
No offence was meant by my post, esp to you g62. I didn’t mean to be too preachy! And I don’t diminish other circumstances or sicknesses. Just felt moved to comment by the “everyone is an addict” comment.
But I do think you write well and interestingly G62, so apologies if it read a bit grumpily.

I am four and a half years sober and never happier. I don’t usually shout about it and wonder about those who bang-on about their sobriety on social media - so look at me now, full of contradiction and now, “look at me-ism”. It wasn’t meant that way. I am a bundle of joy and giggles really!
You can tell, by the way I contribute to a light-hearted banter site ??!

Anyway, Arteta oot!
Don’t be fooled - “Manager of the Month” - my @rse!

7.) 13 Oct 2021
13 Oct 2021 08:52:52
Hi Max absolutely no need to apologise at all mate, it's 100% natural for us all to feel strongly about what we've personally been through and I didn't think for 1 minute you were being preachy mate.

As you say mate, up the Arsenal ?.

8.) 13 Oct 2021
13 Oct 2021 09:57:44
I like paul merson and can relate to everything he says, I'm still struggling with my Gambling, sex, alcohol, marching powder 30 years on.

9.) 13 Oct 2021
13 Oct 2021 16:24:51
Keep up the good work Max mate ?❤️.

10.) 13 Oct 2021
13 Oct 2021 21:43:14
Keep up the great work Max and I have to think the more you, Merse etc speak about it the easier it will make it for others to see a light and see the important steps but most of all that there is a way out. I have no clue what you’ve gone thru but you sound pretty inspirational and Merse to seems like he’s breaking stereotypes to help others.

I take inspiration from Eminem being 12 years clean. I’m not an addict but doesn’t mean I can’t take inspiration from people who beat the odds and I can relate to what 62 says. It’s a banter site but I love these side discussions and just makes me admire some of you guys / girls even more. Keep breaking stereotypes and talk about things - find that so hard and you’ve just shown how irs done ? well done and thanks for sharing.

11.) 14 Oct 2021
14 Oct 2021 10:21:59
Hi Raver, I'm never sure if there is a grain of truth in your banter but if there is in this post I wish you all the best in your journey :)

12.) 14 Oct 2021
14 Oct 2021 18:31:45
Hi SY mate, talking is the key to finding freedom from our struggles mate.
If the only person we ever talk to about our struggles is ourselves then we will only get advice that supports our struggle.

As Albert Einstein once said " you cannot solve a problem with the same thinking that created the problem in the place.

13.) 15 Oct 2021
15 Oct 2021 09:49:26
Agreed 62 and it’s funny how natural talking is but to talk about certain things is so damn hard. Clearly men and women are different. My wife can talk to friends for ages on topics before going out and then when out and they seem to be more meaningful discussions while the men might text to say see you there and talk very little about items close to home etc. funny old world. We can talk by the age of 1 yet as a 50 year old find it difficult to talk about certain things because it feels easier to bury it and you think you need to be the strong one. A problem shared is a problem doubled Vs halved ?.

14.) 15 Oct 2021
15 Oct 2021 10:20:25
Thanks Sally it is true,

15.) 15 Oct 2021
15 Oct 2021 14:33:06
Take it one day at a time Raver :)